Grief Support: How to Help Someone Navigate Loss

A loved one's death shakes the foundations of someone's life. Their grief can be all-consuming, leaving them vulnerable and uncertain as they try to navigate the loss. Grieving is a necessary journey that goes beyond simply missing someone. It is a multi-faceted process that encompasses the emotional and physical impact that a profound loss can have on an individual's life. According to a PBS News, grief can rock a person's world. "It can impact every part of our bodies and we can feel incredibly vulnerable." Supporting someone who is grieving is essential—and nuanced.

THE ROLE OF COMMUNITY AND SUPPORT

When someone is grieving, the support of the community is paramount. Most people adapt to living without their loved one with the support of family and friends. They don't require special grief therapy. Presence is a crucial protective factor. Just being there for someone who is bereaved can make a significant difference. Some people might think they shouldn't acknowledge a loss because they don't want to upset the person. "A lot of people think I'm not going to say anything because I don't want to upset them," explains someone. It is vital to acknowledge the loss and validate the emotions that the person is experiencing. People often need to hear it’s okay to grieve.

Becoming a support for someone who is in grief can also be a very rewarding experience.

THE JOURNEY OF GRIEF

Grief is different for everyone. But no matter the intensity, grief needs to be acknowledged. It needs to be understood and accepted. "It is important to acknowledge the loss and validate the emotions." It helps the bereaved person to begin to understand what has happened. "People often need to tell their stories again and again." Telling the death story Death storytelling is a crucial part of the grieving process. Telling and retelling the story of the person's death can help make sense of what happened. People often need to tell and retell the death story. This process can be a form of therapy, as it allows the bereaved to process their emotions and come to terms with their loss. A clinician noted that storytelling helps people to make sense of the death. Whether or not the death was expected. Making sense of what happened. It can help to understand the loss completely. The role of practical tasks One doesn’t need to offer much to help someone in grief. Even small tasks can be a great help. Practical tasks such as helping with funeral arrangements or preparing meals can be a big help. Support can be providing practical, instrumental tasks, these can be very helpful for people right in the aftermath. Creating a safe space for grieving can provide comfort. Normalizing the experience. It is important not to give advice or platitudes. As a clinician is quoted as saying, "Anything that begins with 'at least they had a good life' is minimizing". Tit bits of wisdom, well-intentioned as they may be, are not always the best. Not giving advice or offering platitudes. It’s important not to downplay the intensity of the person’s emotions. The long road to recovery One thing that most people do not realize is that grief is a process that takes a while to adjust. There is no quick fix for grief. Grief is something that takes a while to adjust to. It is not something that’s done and dusted over a couple of days. It is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes even years. It can vary. But it does not end quickly. Just “being there for the long run” can help. When things start moving towards healing. Seeing the bereaved person adjust to life slowly, and hopefully, they can stand on their own.

BEING THERE FOR THE LONG RUN

The best way to help someone who is grieving is to be there for the long haul. Grief is a process that takes time, and the bereaved person needs support every step of the way. "This isn't something that's done and dusted over a couple of days." Be patient. Offer real help and compassion. Just "being there" can make a world of difference. Understand that grief is a marathon, not a sprint. Grieving people might look like they’ve recovered. But the grieving process can be unpredictable. There can be days, weeks or even months of resurgence. Grief is a slow process, it may look like they’ve gotten better. But it can always appear again. Be prepared for that. And be supportive in the long term, after adjusting to life again sometimes the grief can come back.

If a friend or a family member of yours passes away, you might feel the need to support someone who is grieving—here’s what to do.

• Show up: Be there for the person who is grieving.
• Acknowledge their loss: Don’t be afraid to discuss the loss. It shows you care.
• Be supportive: People who are grieving do not need a "what to do" list.
• Be patient: There’s no rush in healing. Be around even after the funeral.
• Normalize the experience: Let the grieving person know that it is okay that they are feeling how they are.
• Offer practical support: Help with funeral arrangements or meals or other small errands. Grief is a challenging experience. It is a process and it takes time. Family and friends can play a role in helping the bereaved to work through this difficult time. Support from anyone can be monumental. There are many ways to show up and be there for someone who is grieving.